"Motherhood is not a burden to be borne, it is a privilege to be enjoyed. It is not a trial of endurance, it is a time of celebration." Winnie Dalley



It's late. I should be sleeping, but my mind is full of thoughts. Today I called my sweetie Bob to see how his day was going at work. He answered and I heard him talking to a little girl. I could tell because he had the same sound in his voice that he has when he talks to our Anna. He was asking her if she needed her blanket and if she was warm enough.
I soon came to find out that he was taking care of a precious 18 month old girl and her 7 year old brother(until CPS came to place them somewhere) whom he had found in the back of a car in some parking lot this morning. Their parents were passed out from drugs in the front seat. My heart sank. I started to cry. Every time I thought about it during the day I cried. I was grateful for my babies. I was grateful I could be at home with them...playing with them, feeding them, even grateful to be potty-training our Anna. :)

Bob came home and we had dinner with our sweet babies. We had fruit and vegetables to feed them. We laughed at their silliness. We talked about how amazed we are at our Anna and how she did so great on her first day of potty training. Bob pulled out one of Bobby's loose teeth and we were so excited for him in his excitement of how grown up he is getting. We got the kids ready for bed. We said family prayer together and I left to go to the adult meeting for our Stake Conference. Bob stayed home and read to our babies. Tucked them into warm beds with clean sheets and clean jammies. Gave them kisses and hugs and "I love you"s. Their tummies were full. Their hearts were happy. They were safe.

I had a wonderful time at the adult meeting. I felt the spirit so strongly and my testimony of the reality of my Savior Jesus Christ was strengthened. I was spiritually fed. I came home to tell Bob all about it. I felt peace.
Then the conversation turned again to those precious children that Bob had cared for earlier in the day. Immediately my peace was gone and I started to cry again. I thought how was unfair it is that our children can have a home where they are loved and cared for and these children do not. He told me how another officer had gone out to get these kids something to eat because they were starving and dehydrated. He told me that when he had initially found the kids, he had gotten the kids out of the car and put them in the back of his car to keep them warm, (there were 60 mph winds today) and that their mother had woken up and gotten out of the car and instead of comforting her children who were screaming and crying, she said she needed to smoke a cigarette. Bob told her forcefully to put down the cigarette and go and comfort her baby. The little boy was sad because one of his toys was left in the car that had been impounded. (Bob found some little toys and things to give the kids at the station, which cheered them up. The little girl warmed right up to Bob and stayed right by him when other officers came near. He changed her dirty diaper and carried her around until the CPS workers took over. Luckily these kids had a grandma who could come and get them, and I pray that she will take better care of them than their parents.)

So I was crying and heartbroken. I know that this is just one of many instances where innocent children and people suffer because of the bad choices of others.

We prayed together and Bob went to bed and I went to my solace. I prayed. I asked Heavenly Father to teach me. I turned to the scriptures and to the words of living prophets and apostles of Jesus Christ. I was led to this talk about personal peace. While I was reading, my sweet Anna cried out from her sleep. I went to comfort her and she was half asleep, crying, sounding scared. I felt for her in the dark and she was reaching up against the wall with her arms up, searching for comfort. I picked her up and whispered, "Mommy's here." She immediately calmed down and I was able to soothe her back to sleep. As I was rocking her, I couldn't help but see the lesson my Father was trying to teach me. I knew where Anna was. I knew that she was safe, I knew what she needed...just to know mommy was near. Our Father in heaven knows where each of His children are. He knows what each of us need. He can see the way through our darkness to pick us up in His ever-reaching arms.

I know that He has not abandoned those precious children and so many like them who are suffering because of the poor choices of others. I don't have all the answers as to why there is so much suffering in this world. But I do know that the gift of agency...the power to make choices for ourselves....is so vitally important that Heavenly Father will not take it away from any of His children, even when it means that others of His children must suffer. But I also know that He is aware of all the suffering....intimately aware. I know that our Savior Jesus Christ has felt all the suffering of every one of God's children. And I know that His atoning power can and will make all things right in the end.
President Heber J. Grant said:
"His peace will ease our suffering, bind up our broken hearts, blot out our hates, engender in our breasts a love of fellow men that will suffuse our souls with calm and happiness."
Through the atonement, these children can be healed. These children can forgive their parents for their poor choices. There is hope for these children for eternity, even if their suffering is great on this earth, because of Jesus Christ.

I believe in God. I believe that He is. I believe that He created all things both in heaven and in earth. I believe that He has all wisdom and all power both in heaven and in earth. I believe that man cannot comprehend all the things that the Lord can comprehend. (Mosiah 4:9)

So I can go to sleep knowing that all things are in His hands. And I will pray that He can use me every day, in any small or great way, to ease the suffering of those of His children in need.

*I love this whole talk by Elder Quentin L. Cook Personal Peace. Really beautiful insights on obtaining personal peace amidst the turmoil that is the world. Read it. Share it. :)